One of my friends, Y, asked me to draw her a tattoo recently and I just finished it.  I’m actually pretty proud of this one, as a tattoo or just as a drawing:

I changed a couple things since scanning this, like the lump (which is in fact her left leg under her skirt) in her lap.  I added some folds in the dress to make it actually look like her leg, rather than a strange, almost inappropriate lump. 

She is still unsure about her colors, and I left it up to the tattoo artist to work out the shading and stuff on the wings to give them more dimention and life, but all in all, I’m pretty proud of this one. 

It has actually spurred another request by another friend and co-worker to help her out with her tattoo that she isn’t very happy with.  Could this be a new calling for me?  At the very least, it’s a hobby that I enjoy.  A friend, and fellow tattoo lover mentioned a while back that I should take some of my drawings up to the tattoo shop and see if they’d be willing to put them up as flash for any incoming clients.  The artist, R, that we go to actually started out that way…sketching in the shop (which was then a garage shop) until one of the main guys noticed his abilities with a pencil and suggested he try it on skin.  He never turned back.  R is one lucky guy.  He loves his work, truly, and he is very talented. 

I’m working on something for myself and I will post it when I get something solid.  Until then, at least I can put my marks on my friends! 

I’ve been staring at this blank “add new post”  page for a week, having nothing really to say.  Or maybe it’s just that I’ve had so much going on that I couldn’t nail it down to one subject…or even wrap my head around my thoughts enough to differentiate among them.  Either way, I’ve been neglecting my blog and in turn, my outlet for all this funk.  NO MORE!!

So…

• Parents left after a loooong two-week visit for the holidays…whew
• I have mice in my house.  Not one or two, but probably hundreds at this point.  I did call an exterminator who put out poison boxes (yes, I realize this is rather inhumane of me, but you are just going to have to deal with it because mice in my house, in my food, in my freaking bed is so not cool on so many levels!), but they are still there, I just know it.
• I am dog sitting, three small dogs, for a week.  Of course this has allowed me to confirm that I am in fact allergic to dogs!  Swollen, itchy eyes, tightness in the chest, scratchy throat…oh yeah, totally allergic…4 more days to go…
• The boy is starting school on the 5th.  Pre-k, but still school.  It’s a big and wonderful step, for him, for his dad, for me.  But, this single-mom thing is killing me as I am doing all the work in this effort and thereby shouldering all the stress.  Immunizations, physicals, registration, daycare, buses, school clothes that actualfit my weed-like child, visitation schedule that coincides with the school vacation/days off schedule…on and on and on.  I am so not digging this whole single mom, singular responsibility bit. 
• Bills.  Christmas has come and gone, but the damage to my bank account lingers on.  Damn me and all my generosity!
• Mr. W is going through a rough patch.  I know he is a grown man and can take care of himself, but I just can’t help but to worry!  That’s what I do with the ones I love, I worry when they aren’t happy.  Good or bad, it’s just my way. 
• Insomnia.  3 nights and counting.  I even took benadryl Sunday night (for the allergic-to-dogs thing) but still no sleep.  ARGH!
• My teeth hurt, for pretty much no reason at all.  The dentist even said so.  (ok, this “stress” is pretty weak…but seriously, they hurt!)

None of these things in and of themselves are much to scream about, but I have caught the post-holiday funk and it just amplifies everything.  As I read around the other blogs I peruse from time to time, I’ve noticed that this funk is running rampant among quite a few of us.  Is it normal?  Is it catching?  I’ve never really suffered from post-holiday funk before (not to be confused with post-holiday crud…which I also am dealing with…but that is probably because when I’m in a funk, I eat crap, and lots of it to compensate…but I digress), then again, normally I am ecstatic all throughout the holidays, so it’s all kind of new to me this year.  Is this an omen to the disposition of 2009?  If it is, I’d rather stay in ’08.

In an attempt to look forward with hopes for the new year, and aspirations for myself, I’m going to do something very different this year: Resolve.  Yes, I am going to make New Year’s Resolutions.  I never have before, and as cliche as it probably is at this point, I’m going to list them here for all of you…you might want to get some coffee because these are probably pretty stale:

• quit smoking
• exercise in some way, shape, or form
• stop drinking soda (except for my daily 130pm Redbull)
• eat soup or a single sandwich for lunch every day
• take more pictures
• post more pictures
• spend less money
• hire a maid*, if only to facilitate all of the above, and
• cook dinner for the kids every night
• blog at least 5 times a week (my life isn’t that interesting, after all)

I know, cliche and boring, but it’s my first time…be gentle. 

*I realize the hiring of a maid goes against the spending less money, but bear with me on this one.  A maid means less time spent cleaning, which means more time.  Time to cook, time to exercise, time to spend with the kids, time to take and post pictures, just time.  I feel there is a serious shortage of time in my days, so anything I can do to get more has to be a step in the right direction.

My little boy is five years old today!  How the time flies when you’re stressing divorcing worrying divorcing again fighting having fun!  Pretty soon he’ll be starting school, getting in trouble, discovering girls, drinking, driving, drinking and driving, hating mom, graduating high school, going to college, moving out, and starting a family of his own…whew!  Where did the time go?

In all seriousness, I’m happy for my little boy.  He’s getting older and wiser.  I called him this morning from work to wish him a happy birthday and he said thank you with such genuine appreciation and happiness, I could hear him smiling on the phone.  My baby isn’t a baby anymore.  It’s a little bitter sweet, I confess, but the sweetness way outweighs the bitter in this case. 

 I look forward to the years ahead.  The days of banging my head against a wall while trying to convince a toddler of something are coming to a close with the actual ability to reason on the horizon.  Oh, I know I’m not anywhere near the edge of the woods yet, but at least I can take comfort that the edge is there…somewhere…way up ahead…

So today is his day.  The boy was born a month early, just in time for Christmas.  It was a real shocker, but a very happy Christmas for me.  But I vowed never to let his birthday get caught up and hidden in the hustle and bustle of Christmas day.  I promised him at birth he would never get combined presents or go without a party to celebrate his day simply because Christmas was two days later.  True to my word, we are having a small gathering this evening.  My parents are here, of course.  But Mr. W’s kids, ex-wife (the first one…mother of the kids), and her husband will be joining us for dinner and cake.  Unfortunately my kids will be departing to their respective dads’ houses the day after Christmas, so the gift exchange with Mr. W’s kids will have to take place tonight as well.  This is not true to my word.  I’m feeling terribly guilty about the whole thing, but I can’t find another way.  We have a ton of presents for the older kids, and I know they have a few for mine.  Damn the ex-men, once again, for this horrible schedule.  Don’t get me wrong, I would never begrudge my kids or their dads the right and joy to spend holidays together…but really, the day after Christmas??  Makes me wonder if I will get the same consideration next year…not that I’d want to.  I would like my kids to have a day or two to recover from the festivities at one house, to really appreciate and play with all their new toys, before being shuffled off to the other house to do it all over again…but that’s just me.  But on the bright side, how many kids get two whole Christmas’s every year?

My mom isn’t exactly what I would define as a “movie buff,” but she has seen tons of movies in her life.  She doesn’t watch TV much, and instead relies on movies, old and especially new, to pass the hours she doesn’t sleep.  The reason I say she doesn’t classify as a “buff” in my book is that she has a very short memory, which is great for a movie watcher.  She can watch a movie a dozen or so time, each time being like their very first.  It’s actually quite amusing to watch her watching a movie, marveling at the events unfolding, surprised even that the plot untwists the way it has the first ten or so times she watched it.  She also doesn’t get most of the subtle undertones or messages in movies, so she relies solely on the surface entertainment value of the film.  So no, I wouldn’t call her a “movie buff,” but since she’s been visiting, we have been watching a bunch of movies, including Ground Control, an older  movie from the late nineties starring Keifer Sutherland as an air traffic controller…cool movie for controller types, but others, probably not so much; Speed Racer, the movie version of the cartoon… I think…pretty cool racing scenes, although the story was straight out of a cartoon plot; Becoming Jane, a charming movie starring Anne Hathaway as Jane Austin (one of my favorite, yet not yet read authors…I know…strange, but Pride and Prejudice and The Jane Austin Book Club make me want to read everything she ever wrote in one sitting, something I will need a good number of hours of solitude for.); and The Women, starring Meg Ryan, Annette Benning, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, and Jada Pinkett-Smith.

This last movie intrigued me the most.  It’s about friends, specifically women friends.  In fact, there are no men at all in the entire movie…well, except for the baby boy born in the last scenes, but he doesn’t really count.  There are no men’s voices, despite the oft conversations with them on the phone.  There aren’t even any men on the streets of New York, where a lot of the movie is set.  Is that even possible??

Basically the plot goes like this…Benning gets gossip from a nail girl about Ryan’s husband cheating on her with a perfume girl at Saks, played by very sexy Mendes.  The friends get together to decide whether to tell Ryan, meanwhile, Ryan gets the same bit of gossip while getting her nails done, and by advice from mom, played by a very well maintained, although probably not without pharmaceutical help, Candice Bergen.  Of course, girlfriends convince otherwise, including some amusing confrontations and conversations.  I won’t spoil the movie for you, so you’ll have to see it unfold for yourself. 

The thing that intrigued me the most about this movie was the friendships between these women.  They were all very different, with very different priorities and lives, all busy, but still, the strong bonds remained among them.  It made me think about my own life and lost friendships along its path.  I don’t have any real “lifelong” friends.  I don’t have girlfriends that I can always turn to.  I don’t get together with the girls.  I do have friends scattered all over the world, but our correspondence is monthly at best, and we haven’t seen each other for months, if not years.  Counting out my blood family, and even then, only my parents and children count, I haven’t had any relationship of any kind that has lasted the test of time.  None longer than a couple years, and only if in close proximity with almost daily interaction.  I don’t know if it’s my lack of social grace, or my being an only child, or my moving every couple years with my father’s military transfers, or what.  I’ve never been good at making, or keeping friends.  As a matter of fact, my best friend almost always falls within the same body of whoever the man in my life happens to be at the time.  That makes it extremely difficult to 1) break up with someone, and 2) find a sympathetic shoulder to cry on (since that is traditionally a job for a best friend who you are not actually breaking up with).

I am exceedingly jealous of women who have these types of relationships with other women.  I’m jealous of those who visit each other regularly and enjoy endless conversations about nothing.  I’m jealous of those who know each other so well that they not only know when the other is upset, but know the perfect combination of wine, flowers, and chocolate to cheer the other up with.  I’m jealous of those who laugh and cry and hope and despair side by side, holding each others’ hands (or heads) along the way.

I have found women with whom I relate well with, sort of…but never really well.  The comfort level isn’t there, or if it is, it doesn’t last.  Our lives change, and we grow apart and I’m left back at square one.  So what is my problem?  Well, I’ve traced it to a number of things:

• When I’m in a romantic relationship, I delve so deeply and wholly into it, that I tend to neglect my others.
• I am reasonably young, and most of the women my age are in a totally different place than me.  I am balancing young children, with working full time in a traditionally male world, with going to school full time for an engineering degree, with almost-constant drama with the ex-men, with life in general.  Most women my age may be going through one or two of the above, but not all.  It’s hard to bond with someone who can’t possibly understand my life.
• My interests are strange.  I like photography, movies, video games, books, and writing.  I color with my kids, or doodle at work.  I love shoes, but also like to get dirty.
• I get along much better with men.  I spent more leisure time with my dad and his friends as a child, so naturally I learned leisure from them.
• I’m terrible at keeping in touch. Email, phone, letters…they all allude me.

So here I am, without the comfort of a girlfriend, observing those around me from afar via movies, blogs, or stories from my friends who have their own girlfriends, at a time when, quite honestly, I could really use one.

*sigh*  Poor me, right?  *sigh*

I am cranky as shit!  I am extremely sexually frustrated (two months, dammit!  and two more to go!), people at work are getting on my last nerve (the asshole at work is rearing his ugly head again, not at me, but in his general holier-than-thou-I-know-everything-about-everything attitude which is usually followed by a statement that is so epicly wrong it’s ridiculous), and the girl is being a brat, or rather, the princess is being a royal brat!

#1 — I won’t delve too deeply into this one as it is personal, and although I try to maintain complete openness and honesty in this blog…sometimes you just have to filter in good taste.  But I will say my solo time (as little as is available with parents visiting, sheer exhaustion by the time I get to bed, and the at least twice a week I have a little person sharing my bed with me) is just not cutting it!  I miss my Mr. W…in every way!

#2 — The asshole struck again yesterday with his blatant stupidity coupled with his holier-than-thou attitude.  He ignored some potentially serious safety violations at work until his hand was forced, then made snide, unprofessional comments that basically said, “Hey, we don’t care about safety here.  The only reason I’m bringing it up is so I don’t have to listen to the guy that is concerned whine.”  WTF!!  Then, taking on his role of I-know-everything-about-everything, he put on his trainer hat and gave some epicly wrong information to my trainee!  *argh!*

#3 — I’m not sure what her deal is, but my little princess is really pushing my buttons.  Last week, it was just her and I and we had a wonderful time.  She was well behaved.  She was sweet.  She was happy.  This week, she’s talking back (a lot), her favorite two phrases are, “I don’t want to” and “NO!” and she is being totally unreasonable in her demands.  Yes, demands.  I don’t expect a three year old to be particularly reasonable in her requests, but demands…oh, hell no!  I have to constantly remind her that I am her mother and she should speak to me with a certain respect.  I don’t expect her to learn that lesson from her other parent or family, but she knows better at home, I know she does.  Because of my frustrations in other parts of my life, I’m not handling her attitudes and outbursts very well.  I’ve done a lot of yelling and threatening over the last couple days.  I can’t seem to keep my calm long enough to do what works in place of the yelling.  Honestly, I can’t seem to even recall what works.  We haven’t had behavioural problems in quite a while, and when I’m in that red faced gonna break something (no, not my child…but something) mode, I can’t even think straight!  I need to find something to maintain my calm.  Not sure what that is yet…but I need…something.

Sex is obviously out of the question as it’s not available at this time.  Can’t drink since it’s probably not a great outlet for frustration, and besides, step-dad is a recovered alcoholic so I had to stash all my liquor and wine for the visit.  I’ve been smoking more, although I was hoping my parents’ visit would help me cut down or quit completely.  I don’t know what else to try…*hrumph!*

I had a light-bulb moment just recently regarding relationships, or rather  marriages.  I have noticed heard about become aware of an alarming trend that most (ok, I don’t really know if it’s most in the world…but at least most directly around me and my circle of friends) most married couples don’t have sex anymore.  I’ll admit, the last year of my  marriage was completely loveless, in both the emotional sense and the physical sense.  (yes, it was at least a whole year…hmmm, yet another incentive to get the hell out of that relationship!)  But it was strange to me.  It’s not as if I didn’t want to have sex.  Quite the opposite.  Needless to say, it caused a lot of tension in our relationship which wasn’t the sole reason for our split, but probably contributed in its own way to the ultimate end.  My mom used to tell me, “if he’s not getting it at home, he is getting it somewhere.”  To this day, he insists he wasn’t, but who knows…and really, who cares at this point?

As I said before, it was strange to me.  I thought we were a minority among young married couples.  I thought it was a huge issue in our relationship.  I’d always heard the sex life goes downhill as years pass, but after only the first couple years…it’s doesn’t make sense to me.  (Barring some extraneous circumstance of course.) But in conversation with those around me, other young couples (or the not-so-happy half anyway) are just entering their first years of marriage and have lost their sex life along the way.

I don’t get it!  It seems like an understood statement, but I like sex.  All my girlfriends like sex.  Unless he is doing it wrong (in which case you don’t get married and in fact find someone who does it right), I can’t imagine anyone not liking sex.  So why are so many couples living in loveless marriages?  Really, it baffles me, but it seems to be an alarming trend in our world today.  I suppose it’s possible it always has been, but since I’ve only been having sex for about 15 years now…I can’t speak intelligently for the rest of the history of the world.

Are we really so stressed or busy in our lives today that we don’t have the time or energy available to cultivate the one-on-one intimacy between ourselves and the ones we love?  Or is it that we are finding ourselves married too soon to people with whom there never really was an attraction  strong enough to last a lifetime?  Are we just going through the motions?  I’ll say this; it seems to me marriage has taken a turn for the better over the years (for the most part anyway) in that two people can come together as equals and communicate freely without fear.  People are becoming very good at joining lives and creating families and traditions to last a lifetime.  But why is it that when two lives join, then add a couple more lives to the mix, the two who started begin to drift to separate ends of the group rather than all mush together in the middle?  Is a family stronger with a strong relationship at its core, or with the two adults posted on the outside of the group like sentries? 

I’ve figured out for my own life that my family is stronger and happier and more at ease with a strong central core.  As long as Mr. W and I are joined and happy and connected, the children that surround us seems to feed off that security and are (like a  kind of contact high) themselves stronger and happier and more at ease with our family.  I can’t guarantee that this will be the case forever, but I’ve got a good inkling that it will last quite a while. 

Mom is here!!  I’m so happy!  Well, mostly happy…I’m still finding it difficult to get fully into the Christmas spirit, but it’s coming along…slowly…very slowly.  Actually, at the rate I’m going, the spirit should be with me sometime around my birthday this summer!   

But the parental units came in last night.  It’s their first time to see the new house, which is much bigger and much more comfortable.  Although, step-dad made a comment about old people and stairs which rubbed me a little…but he did have a long flight…so I’ll forgive.

Mr. W, Mr. Wonderful, had flowers delivered yesterday.  I do love to get flowers, and he keeps me pretty well covered in that department.  But, not only did he send me a beautiful holiday bouquet basket, but he sent flowers for the girl and for my mom!  The girl got a pretty champagne flute with a teddy bear and a couple stems, while my mom got a holiday-themed pot with some flowers in it.  Aint he sweet?  That’s my Mr. Wonderful!

Today starts an either very long two weeks, or a very nice two weeks.  Time will have to tell on that one.  Visits from my parents can go either way.  It’s started off well so far.  My mom and I actually stayed up late last night just chatting on the couch.  We actually got to the point of tears at one point from laughter over some silliness…something we have never done.  I am very close with my mom, but it’s always been a stricktly mom/daughter closeness, never really approaching the friendship zone.  Could it be that we have finally reached a point in our lives that we can go there too?  How great would that be?!  Again, only time will tell.

The kids seem pretty excited about “Grandma and Grandpa” visiting.  I do know my mom will take some load off me there (and in the kitchen, and in the laundry, and…) so that will help with my stress level/balancing act/temper tantrum that I’ve been going through lately.  Yea, Mom!!  Moms are great.  I know this…some of my best friends are moms…and besides, I am too and I’m pretty damn spectacular!

School is kicking my ass!  Well, actually, life is kicking my ass!  Well, if I want to be totally honest, I am kicking my own ass!  Let me explain:

I went to see my Reiki lady.  I’ve seen her before, once, and you can read all about it here...she is fabulous!  She is mothering and lovely and makes me feel at ease just in her presence.  I feel I am able to open up to her, basically a stranger, with more freedom than I do the people I have known for years.  It’s a great feeling.  So, this session was much different from my last.  I thought I knew what to expect…but I was totally wrong.  Basically, I went to her thinking I have been having issues with balance.  Not my normal, clumsy, falling over a lot lack of balance, but rather my ability to balance all the facets of my life while still having my sanity remain intact.  So I went to my Reiki lady in search of tips to regain my balance.  I got a whole lot more.

The first difference was the physical.  There was a point, when I actually managed to shut my mind off for a few minutes (I think a few minutes…it is very difficult to keep track of time when you are attempting to shut your mind off…which is very difficult in itself…see, even now, I ramble…) I lost track of her.  It was strange.  I knew she was there.  I knew she was touching me.  I just didn’t know where she was, or where she was touching me.  I didn’t feel her.  I didn’t feel anything.  Not her, not the massage table beneath me, not the blanket covering me, not my clothes, nothing.  Then my hands started to tingle an pulse.  The only thing I could feel for however long it was, was my fingers, pulsing and tingling.  Then the rocking started.  I don’t know if I was actually moving, or if it was just the Reiki doing its stuff, but I felt like I was swaying gently side to side, like standing on a boat in the water, only I was laying down, on a table, in a small cement room, on dry land.  And just when I began to register all the feelings, and non-feelings going on, just when I thought “this is really cool–”  it stopped.  Argh!! There goes my brain again.  Talking too much!  Ah well.

The second difference was the visual.  I didn’t see much.  My eyes were closed and it was mostly dark (as tends to happen when one’s eyes are closed in a semi-dark room).  There were periods of light, not extreme, but more like headlights through a shaded window at night, passing through then gone.  But in the darkness, that is where I really saw something.  Wings.  Huge, oversized, very dark wings.  No body, no sense of a person or thing beneath them.  Just wings, flapping very slowly just over me, as if hovering just above me, protecting me in a way.  I know, it sounds weird.  But it gets weirder…she saw them too.  No I didn’t tell her about them and she chimed in with a “me too, me too.”  Rather, she told me about them.  She told me about the size and the flapping and that they were attached to people in her journey into me, but she described them just as I had seen them, before I even said a thing about them.  (She felt the rocking too, but I had already told her about that…so I’ll leave that part out for all you skeptics!)

So, her synopsis?  Basically, she saw me walking.  Not on a journey, as I wasn’t really going anywhere, just walking.  Putting one foot in front of the other and nothing more.  At times, I/we/she would come across people.  No distinct faces or genders or features, just individual people.  When she asked them who they were, the wings would come.  They didn’t speak. They simply unfurled these giant, disproportionate, dark wings and flew away.  (Her idea is that they are angels of sorts watching over me in my non-journey…works for me!)  Besides my walking, she got nothing of balance issues.  Actually, she got the opposite.  I have no balance issues.  I am perfectly capable to do it all, and more, and do it all well.  The problem is (get this) I simply don’t want to.  I’m throwing a temper tantrum because Mr. W is gone.  Where I have always prided myself on being this strong, independent, capable-of-anything-by-myself-thank-you-very-much woman, I found Mr. W and realized it’s ok to be a little dependent.  It’s ok to want to lean on someone every now and again.  It’s ok to want to be near someone.  And now that he is gone…I’m pissed and I’m throwing a little tantrum about it.  Hmmmm….think she is on to something here?

And here I am…shiny new blog in hand (goal, checked) and I have a new goal to replace it (ah well, like I didn’t know that was going to happen): NO MORE TANTRUMS!  OK, Missy…just get it done.  You know you can, you know it would be easier, better, happier, greater, and all other positive words ending in -er if he were here, but he’s not.  Not for another 10 months.  So suck it up, get it done, go through the motions, take one step at a time, and move on.  NO MORE TANTRUMS!

There…think that will do it?  Well, at least I have my angels…albeit strange, featureless angels, who don’t speak, and have massive black wings…hmmmm……

The girl and I went out a couple nights back to look at Christmas lights.  Now more than a few things are disappointing me about Christmas this year leading inevitably to my less than festive attitude about the whole season.  But I do have my kids for the even years, and my mom and step-dad are making the trip to the arctic east (from Arizona…home of “60 degrees!  Holy crap that’s cold!”) so I’m trying my best to kick start my normally geeky-about-Christmas side, hence the Christmas lights.

Well, first off, normally my radio pre-sets are adjusted to holiday music around this time of year.  I hadn’t gotten around to that yet, so as the girl and I set out to find some pretty holiday decor, I searched the dial for some carolling.  No luck.  WTF??  No Christmas music?  No carols? No kids’ holiday cheer?  *Hrumph*  So much for setting the mood.  (disappointment #1 of the night…)

Then we find some lights.  Yea!!  One house.  But wait…there’s another one…one…one… What is with this place?  Two weeks until Christmas, and there is only a scattering of houses with lights on!  Ok, keep it together…we headed to the big, nice, semi-hoity-toity neighborhoods in the area.  They must have lights there!  Nope…an even more sparse scattering.   *hrumph*  The girl was frustrated.  I was frustrated.  So we headed home, cranky, and watched Wall-E instead.  (disappointment #2 and 3 of the night…)

AND I was attempting to quit smoking…so much for that.  The frustration, the driving, the cranky little girl in the back seat asking every 2 1/2 seconds where the lights were…too much for me to handle.  So I bought a pack on the way home, and had a pre-Wall-E smoke.  (disappointment #4 of the night…)

It’s hard to believe, but back home, in the deserts of Arizona, where snow is a freak occurrence that may last all of 20 minutes, literally, there is more Christmas cheer.  Every year, there are at least four radio channels dedicated to only Christmas music from mid November through mid January.  Every year, there is Winterhaven…a sorta-ritzy neighborhood which holds a clause in its HOA bylaws that says if you live there, you have to, have to decorate your house for the holidays.  They have horse drawn carriages, or shuttles you can pay to ride on through the neighborhood, or you can walk free from the worry of personal vehicle traffic (except of course for the residents).  There are donation boxes at every house and all proceeds are given to some organization like Toys For Tots, or an equally Christmas-y spirited group.  They sell egg-nog and cookies and hot chocolate in stands along the way.  (The only possible worry while you are there is maybe stepping in horse poop)  It’s a magical, Christmas-y, cheerful place…in the middle of the desert…at 60+ degrees…How is it that these desert dwellers have more Christmas spirit than the cold-weathered folks I live among now?  *hrumph*  I miss home.

So the “spirit” is still evading me.  Even shopping has lost its once bright, shiny luster for me.  I still have hope for the season, as Christmas is still two weeks away, and the kids will both be here soon along with my mom and step-dad.  I still have hopes…